Tomorrow will be my birthday. For the past few days, I just realized God is giving me so much birthday gifts.

1. Fr. Mario lent me his phone indefinitely even if I offered to buy it from him. That was as good as giving it to me.
2. There was an unexpected reunion of sorts of my JVP sis-tahs.
3. Who would have thought a well-known alrnative singer would tell me, "I don't know why I am drawn to you." Be it the truth or an act of flirting, it still flatters the hell out of me.
4. Plus, he offered to cook adobo for us tonight.
5. D called last night and everthing about us were all right. Nothing was said yet, but I know he will always, always be a good, good friend.
6. My Jesuit Scholastic crush was able to speak out the words I was feeling for me.
7. Having lunch with the rowster yesterday clarified a lot things about our friendship. And I'm really, really glad we could still be friends, we could still talk even if we don't see each other a lot, even if she has found someone to love. Much comfort and assurance was felt yesterday.
8. Mom is coming home tonight.
9. I get to see my good JVP friends in Davao and we get to go to the beach on the weekend.

God is really so great. It's not even my birthday yet, but he has already showered me with a lot of gifts and blessings.

SARANGGOLA SA ULAN

naririnig ko pa ang tawa't hagikhik
ng una kong sinta at kalarong paslit
at ang sabi ng matatanda
siya ay maalwan, ako'y dukha
di raw kami bagay at kayraming dahilan
ngunit si bakekay ay walang pakialam

sa aming kamusmusan kayraming palaisipan
ngunit tatlong bagay ang aking natutunan
ang pag-asa'y walang hanggan
ang pag-ibig ay walang hadlang
at lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan

at kung ang pagsinta ay di man nagtagal
ang mas mahalaga natutong magmahal
umibig nang walang panghihinayang
kahit malamang na masaktan

kanina lang, sa akig tabi'y may aleng lumiko
at sa pagmamadali, nasagi ang aking puso
eto na naman ako sa aking kabaliwan
na sinasabi nga nilang suntok sa buwan
ngunit hindi hihindian
ng tulad kong natuto nang
magpalipad ng saranggola sa ulan

gaya ng lagi't laging sinasabi ko
o siya nawa ay siya na nga ang totoo
eto na naman ako sa aking kabaliawn
na sinasabi nga nilang suntok sa buwan
ngunit hindi hihindian
ng tulad kong natuto nang
magpalipad ng saranggola sa ulan

heto ako tumatandang nakahandang panindigang
ang bato sa tubig ay lulutang
at lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan

Bayang's Wedding Album. Ahm, photo not music.

Ang saya!

My Jesuit Scholastic crush gave a sharing for the last day of the Ignatian novena. Well, he just made me have a bigger crush on him because of that. Much of his sharing was personal, relating many of his experiences about being discouraged and losing hope. The way that he told his story, there was just so much sincerity and passion. Not only with his words but how he moved and all that.

Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Here I go again....
Hehehe!

*****
My boss went with us to the Mass. He knew that I had a crush on the scholastic so he approaches me after the mass.
Him: Did you notice anything about ______?
Me: Eh... no...
Him: His hands moves a lot.
Me: And?
Him: In psychoanalysis it's supposed to mean that he's good in bed.
Me: Hello! Ano ba iyan? I'm praying for his vocation. Don't tempt me!

That just got me. Hahaha!

Guys, is that true?

After my dad passed away, I try to make it a point to visit wakes of family members of good friends. Going through the difficulty of losing someone, I know how comforting it is to know that a person you care for has touched many lives. And there is much comfort knowing that there are people out there who share their sympathy, or empathy even.

Your presence really means a lot to a person who just lost one.

stolen from solace. again. heheh!

Who was the last person you yelled at? the stupid jeepney driver that got puddle water splattered all over me.
Who was the last person you kissed? D.
What was the last memorable book you read? American Gods by Neil Gaiman
When did you last dance? Two Saturdays ago.
What's the last thing you want to hear from your parents? Umalis ka na sa trabaho mo. That is my decision to make.
When did you last go for a walk? A real walk? A month ago, I guess.
When did you last do your ironing? three weeks ago but I'm not good at it because there are still crumples afterwards.
When was the last time you smiled? Today
What color of socks do you normally wear? It's usually printed, but most of them are gray shades.
Did you ever attend a private school? All of it.
Do you like stuffed animals? Stuff toys, yes. Animals that were alive before then stuffed, no!
Have you ever smashed pumpkins? Er, no. It's a waste of good food.
Can you quote Shakespeare? Romeo, o Romeo. Where fort art thou, my Romeo. Does that count?
Are you a neat freak? Hell, no.
What is the worst injury you have ever given someone?
Ngi, a lot. I strangled a girl who was sitting on my uncle's car when I was in Grade 4.
I accidentally kicked Chiqui's balls.
I punched D in the gut.
And a lot of other injuries that was meant to be a love tap but ended up stronger than I intended.
Do you ever eat lemons plain? I don't think so, but I used to drink lemon juice without alcohol.
Have you ever fired a gun? An air gun with no air and pellet guns.
Do you own any knee-high boots? No, but I want a pair.
Do you have a crush on somebody ? Make that somebodies.
Do you like swimming in lakes? I love lakes.
What is your favorite gemstone? I'm not into precious gems but I like jade, I guess.
Have you gone on many blind dates? Not ever.
Has someone done something extra nice for you? Yes.
Did you have a crush on any of your teachers? No, I don't like older men. But I do admit that Doc Reyes of the philo department strikes me as a handsome old guy.
Have you ever been lost in a bad part of a city? Manila and Cagayan de Oro.
Would you rather have a mint or fruit flavored gum? Mint
Do you ever eat food right out of cans or jars? Jars yes, cans no.
Has your mind ever gone blank? Many times.
Do you exercise or work out regularly? I used to. I miss jogging, badminton and biking.

stolen from solace. heheh!

[3 songs that get stuck in your head frequently]
In the End by Linkin Park
Pakisabi na Lang by the Company
Muntik na Kitang Minahal by the Company

[3 beverages you drink frequently]
Water
Coke
Swiss Miss

[3 tv shows you liked when you were a little kid]
Batibot
Care Bears
Saturday Fun Machine

[3 places to go in your area]
If in Sta. Ana, NONE!
If in Katipunan, a lot! The Strip, Full House and Gayuma if I really have to name them.

[3 things you do when you're bored]
Go online and surf
Read, read and read!
Watch TV.

[3 things that never fail to cheer you up]
Eo, my six month old nephew.
Letters and e-mails from Ramon and others.
My malaswa and wicked sisters.

[3 things you can't live without]
Water
Traveling
Something to read

[about ten years ago *list three things*]
I was fourteen and in second year high school.
I wore shorts underneath my school uniform.
I lived in Paranaque.

[about two years ago *list three things*]
I was still starting in advertising.
I was at my dad's wake.
Life felt so unreal.

[about one year ago *list three things*]
I just started in JVP.
We were getting ready for zonals.
I didn't know what to do in the office.

[today...]
I will go again to Bistro to watch Joey Ayala.
was an unproductive day at work.
is Erik's birthday.

[seven things on your desk]
a mess of papers.
a teddy bear given to me by a volunteer
a disney cup with pens given to me by pia.
a sketch of me by alelee
my puta red wallet
a staple remover
my brush

[seven facts about you]
Mindoro is my true love.
I have a big, big crush on a Jesuit Scholastic.
That crush got big just today because of his sharing during Mass today.
All my major "boylets" come from the province. (Cagayan Valley, Palawan, Mindoro and Davao)
The only guy that I loved from Manila, I never desired to be anything more than friends.
It seems that I am in a love mood at the moment.
I love 70's Bistro and the crowd and the artists there.

[3 artists/bands people should give a listen to]
Joey Ayala
Noel Cabangon
Gary Granada

[9 things you like about your honey]
Unfair. I have no honey. Hehehe! That's all right. :)

[3 things you would eat on the last day of your life]
kare-kare
karen's or her mom's bulalo
half a cake of blueberry cheesecake

[3 vacations you want to take]
backpacking all over Europe
a 6-month tour of the Philippines (I already plotted my course, I just need the money)
Fiji Islands... all of them

[3 things you'd like to learn]
Graphics design
Dress making (I've always wanted to design and sew my own clothes
Scuba diving.

She might just be an Elizabeth Taylor in the making.

Walang hanggang paalam (1983)
joey ayala

di ba tayo’y narito
upang maging malaya
at upang palayain ang iba
ako’y walang hinihiling
Ika’y tila ganoon din
sadya’y bigyang-laya ang isa’t-isa

ang pagibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
at habang magkalayo
papalapit pa rin ang puso
kahit na magkahiwalay
tayo ay magkasama
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

ang bawat simula ay
siya ring katapusan
may patutunguhan ba
ang ating pagsinta
sa biglang tingin
kita’y walang kinabukasan
subalit di-malupig ang pag-asa

ang pagibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
at habang magkalayo
papalapit pa rin ang puso
kahit na magkahiwalay
tayo ay magkasama
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

ang pagibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
at habang magkalayo
papalapit pa rin ang puso
kahit na magkahiwalay
tayo ay magkasama
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

very beautifully sung by joey, especially when together with bayang barrios.

After almost two months of not connecting, I can finally use my internet card. Salamat naman, ano! It has been stressing me out!!! Now, it's just my TMAs (tutor marked assignments) that does that. I'm not sure if I can make it by the deadline. Aaargh!

YEY!

Fr. Mario lost his phone in a tricyle the other day. Being a Jesuit, he was able to use his "powers" to ask the guards to scour all tricycles that come in and out of the Ateneo to recover his phone. Fortunately, the guards were able to find the tricycle driver who was honest enough to return it to Fr. Mario. Unfortunately, he already bought a new phone to replace the one he "lost." So I tried to convince him to sell it to me for P3000. He said he will think about it.

He did. This morning he gave me the phone and told me to use it indefinitely until such time that he will need it.
...
...
...
Really?! Wow!!! I finally get to own a Nokia 6150. Something that I have always wanted! Yipee!
*****
Boo!
Stupid ole' me!!!

In my excitement, I place my SIM card in the "new" phone so I could test it out. Upon opening, it asked for a PIN number. Since it was Fr. Mario's phone I kept thinking what his PIN was. Typing in 1234, it was code error. Asking him what it was, being answered 1234 and typing it in, it was another code error. Finally, I asked him to type it in. It was wrong! Only then did I realize, it was MY PIN that it was asking for. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

Stupid, stupid, stupid me!!!

So now, I have to wait and see if my brother has my PUK number. And he's in Baguio. If he doesn't have it, I have to go Globe to get it unlocked. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Stupid, stupid, stupid me!!!

Thanks so much to brownpau for helping me out with my blog!

Kids start getting more cruel at a younger age now.

By the way, my cheeks hurt yesterday from too much laughing. When my malaswa sister and I are together, we just crack each other up. If my other wicked sister were there, man, I don't know if I would still have enough breath for anything else. :)

Humor must really be the best way to get going. While we were at Mhay's dad's wake last night, we were just horsing around the whole night. Even if I was already on reserve battery more, I kept doing unintentionally amusing stuff. Mhay, too, kept on making jokes.

She also told us stories about her dad making fun of himself and hsi family while he was sick.

I guess problems are scared of laughter.

For those who know Mhay Soriano, please pray for her and her family. Her dad, Butch C. Soriano passed away today at 7:10 AM.

70's Bistro na naman.

Bistro night last night with "sisters" Maita and Tatit and Paola. Siyempre, it was Noel Cabangon who was playing.

Great girl talk over beer, coke, garlic chips and cheese sticks. Stories were quite interesting as the group has not seen together for a while. Saya!

To those who like alternative OPM, wait for Gary Granada's "Saranggola sa Ulan." Very beautiful lyrics. Beautiful.

Sample lines:
"Tatlong bagay ang aking natutunan,
Ang pag-asa ay walang hanggan,
Ang pag-ibig ay walang hadlang at
Ang magpalipad ng saranggola sa ulan."

"Nakita ko ang isang aleng lumiliko
at sa pagmamadali'y
nasagi ang aking puso."

I'm not sure about the accuracy of the lyrics but it is really, REALLY beautiful. Simple yet moving and profound.

Another highlight of the night was when Joey Ayala went to our table to have a chat. Since all of us in our table were assigned or have been to Bukidnon and Davao, we talked about the place. He even pat my shoulder and gave me a mock massage for two seconds.

*Sigh.*

I don't know how else to term it but nawiwindang ako kay Joey Ayala! He just moves me in an unexplainable way. Grabe na ito! : )

"You are most like sassy Cameron Diaz."
So says this quiz about my style.
Yeah, it seems plausible.

Once, while I was researching for my Cultural Studies elective, I came across this website that translates your name into alibata form. Alibata is the ancient writing system of the pre-Hispanic Filipinos. It might just make a good idea for a tattoo, if ever I get one.

10:13 PM

For some reason, I have began to like this combination. Actually, my dad was declared dead this time. Morbid ba?

I remember vividly, exactly two years ago, my dad was having his dialysis. The dialysis machine was cleaning his blood because he was already experiencing renal failure. While reading "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," I looked at the dialysis machine and it said 10:13. That meant the number of minutes left for the dialysis. I smiled. It reminded me of October 13, which is my favorite day of the year. (Don't ask me why. I just like it.) And I went on with my reading. Sometimes I would take a look at him. Once I checked, he had his eyes open. I asked him if he could hear me and he moved his head every so slightly to indicate yes. I told him, "I love you, ha?" And once again that slight nod of the head.

Anyway, the rest of the story is that he was declared dead at 10:13. And that was that.

Ever since then, I noticed that I would usually get texts at 10:13 PM. Or when I would check the time whenever I'm out, my cellphone would indicate 10:13.

Sometimes, I get the crazy thought that that's Dad's way of telling me that he's still there for me. : )

A letter to my dad in heaven.

Dear Dad,

Tomorrow, it will be two years since you've gone. It’s been a long time but the memories, good and not so good, are still fresh. Memories of how terrible it felt seeing you in so much pain, memories of everything that you were to me.

Things were not easy the moment I found out you were sick. My heart was so torn in finishing my year in Bukidnon and leaving it just to spend time with you. There were only three months to go. But those could be your last three months. Morbid as the thought may be, it was very possible. Yet, you told me my three months there could be your very salvation to a longer life. Reluctantly and with a heavy heart, I went back to keep my promise to my students. I was never truly at peace those times. But I knew God would take care of you. I had that much faith in him.

But then, my memories of you are more than your last days. I have better ones in my mind that make me smile.

There’s this picture of you on top of the TV set where Nonay, Yano and One were all over you. A doting grandfather to doting grandchildren. That’s my favorite picture of you, I think. You were already sick then. But still, you bore the pain of having those kids over you just to be near them.

And then there was you just sitting on the sala chair watching TV. You could stay in one position for hours. You would often ask me to bring you food or whatever so you wouldn’t have to stand up. Daddy dear, you were probably the epitome of “couch potato.” Come to think of it, you do look like a potato sometimes. : )

When I was younger, I wished you would take us out more. To the movies or the beach. But you hated the beach because lolo threw you in it when you were small and you almost drowned. You didn’t like the moviehouse because just a few hours after you left one in Mindanao, it exploded. Talk about trauma.

As I grew older, I understood that you were just like that. A simple man who liked simple things. Who was just simply happy with where you were. And even if you did not tell us, I knew how much you loved mom and how much you loved us. I remember those times when you’d slip me an extra hundred bucks for allowance and warned me not to tell mom about it. That was sweet of you, because I never asked. I was afraid to because I knew how hard up we were. But you wanted to give to us as much as you can. I knew that the whole time, Dad. I hope you knew I knew.

I did have the chance to tell you with the father’s day card I sent you when I was in Mindoro. I was proud of you for being strong enough to let me go and choose my own path. And up until now, I would never want another father but you. Your heart was always kind, whether it was your own family or other people. The care you gave your brothers and sisters was something I wish I could give to my own.

The man that you are… I wish I could be at least half of it. So many people loved you, dad. You probably knew tickets were sold out for your internment. The chapel house had people to the rafters just to take a last look at you.

Dad, I’m proud to have been the daughter of Rex Resurreccion. You are the most handsome guy for me. Honestly! I think you’re gwapo. There was no lie whenever I called you “pogi.” You are also the strongest guy I know. Maybe not physically. Your tummy always got in the way. Hehehe! You had a strong heart, a strong soul and a stronger faith. That is still something I continue to struggle with.

Thank you for loving mom. For loving kuya. For loving ate. For loving me. For loving the kids.
Thank you for being the man that you were.
Thank you for teaching me what life is all about. Not through words of wisdom, but acts of kindness. That has led me to what I am now. And I may not be the most successful person in the block, but I know I have been greatly blessed.
Thank you, Dad.
I love you so much.
I miss you everyday.

Your daughter,
Angie

Ooooh! Ooooh!

I forgot to tell the whole world that my mom got my brother an X-Box. My 33-year old brother, my married sister and I have been fighting over it whenever it is on. (We usually just use it once a week.)

And I asked her to get me a pair of binoculars. Which she did. Bushnell pa. It's baptism shall be this August in the boondocks while I cavort in single-motor vehicles and trek the mountainside. Yey! Fun! Fun! Fun! (I will miss the Ateneo-La Salle game though.)

And I thought the Philippines had it bad. It's worse in the US.

Last night I was finally able to use Yahoo Messenger! for the first time.
Nice talking to you, brownpau. :)

*****
An old friend from Mindoro called, too. I have never been able to understand what he means whenever he tells me, "pag nakakausap kita, gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko. Salamat, ha." I barely said anything sensible. Those ex-seminarians are really pros in confusing people.

And James Bond's Q might just lose his job.

This would make a great pulutan.

Last Saturday night has proved to me once again that I am torpe. There was this cute guy who was looking at me during my tita's party. And man, was he my type. But hell, did I go near him? No. Just sat there and stole glances. And sometimes, I would catch him doing the same. How frustrating!

On the way home I discover that he knows me. From way back in grade school!!! Hello! He friggin' knew me. Aaargh. He told my bro, "si Angie iyon? Iba na ang hitsura niya. He asked about me. Aaargh.

Oh well. I did find out that he was not able to finish school. Minus pogi points. Bad, noh!

argh. again.

It's 7:00 PM.
I'm still in the office.
My stomach is really complaining.
Home is still two hours away.
Oh... the hunger... the pain...
aaaaahhhh.

When it's that time of the month, everything is just plain $#!+!

Call me vain.

1. I call myself: Angie
2. I am this old: 23...turning 24 in just a few more days.
3. I hate it when: I am sick.
4. I love it when: the baby laughs when he sees me.
5. My favorite thing to drink is: lemonade.
6. My favorite food is: green apple and green mango.
7. I am this tall: 5 feet 3 1/2 inches tall.
8. When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is: check my phone

1. The last thing I do before I go to bed is: pray
2. My favorite soap to use is: Dove.
3. I use this shampoo: st. ives
4. I use this conditioner: pantene
5. I use a comb or a brush: Brush.
6. I blow dry my hair or let it air dry: air dry
7. My toothpaste is: colgate
8. My toothbrush is this color: gray and white
9. I like hot or cold showers: HOT!
10. What I think about in the shower: a lot of things
11. My favorite thing about the shower is: the fresh feeling after
12. I listen to this kind of music when in the shower: something i can sing to
13. I lock the bathroom door when in the shower: hell, yeah.

Miscellaneous
1. I still write letters and mail them out: yeah.
2. I spend this much time online a day: 10% of the day.
4. I want to travel to: Palawan and Boracay and Camiguin
5. My favorite phrase is: mahal kitang lagi.
6. My favorite quote is: A lot, mostly from The Alchemist and the Little Prince
8. I live in a(n) house, trailer, apartment, townhouse, condo: rented house
9. I've always wanted to own one of these: a 6150 phone
10. My most treasured items are: my books
11. My goals in life are: to make documentaries
12. My favorite sport to watch is: gymnastics
13. The friend I couldn't live without: hmm....
14. I'm so happy I met: fr.mimo and quint
15. I miss this person the most: quint.
16. I don't miss this person at all: i don't miss him so i don't know.
17. I wish I knew this person better: lon
18. I have the most fun hanging out with this persons: batch 22 davao people
19. I really screwed things up with this person: d.
25. This is on my walls: i wish i had a batik sarong on it
26. I'm a sucker for: surprises and free food
27. I couldn't live without this: water
28. My favorite photo I have is: the one in bohol holding bico, two tarsiers and one tarsier on my head, my boracay sunset picture and the sagada climbing the wall picture.
29. The thing that drives me completely crazy is: people who don't think and who are mean
30. The best thing about my life is: i am blessed
31. The thing that makes me saddest is: being alone
32. The thing that makes me happiest is: getting appreciated and finding a pair of pants that fits me perfectly
33. This relaxes me: hot baths
34. This makes me nervous/stressed out/upset: my period
35. My favorite scent is: baby
36. My favorite place to go when I want to be alone: Mindoro

argh.

1. i have a major headache.
2. my other blog is not working. darn.